Shared Secrets Read online

  “Bring her with you to Prentiss.”

  “No.”

  Knocking over the glass, Taylor hurried to escape from behind the bar. Just the thought, let alone the concept, of returning to the place where she’d found love caused her heart to race and her nerves to snap at her soul.

  “I’m not letting you run away from me again,” Lucas said.

  When he caught her by the arm, she tried to struggle free. Then he pulled her flush against him. She went completely still.

  “Micah needs your help, Taylor. I’m desperate enough to beg if necessary.”

  Her breath wanted to heave in and out. Her will to keep Lucas from seeing her distress was stronger. For how much longer she couldn’t be sure. She worked to tap into the rigid reserve that had served her so well in the courtroom. All she could manage was a lukewarm response.

  “And, as you said, my daughter needs my attention.”

  “The two of you,” Lucas replied, his voice calm and gentle. Despite the situation, she found her concern lessening. He’d always been able to quiet her impatience. “You need somewhere you can start fresh. Somewhere without the memory of your husband coming between you.”

  “There are too many memories in Prentiss.”

  “Some of them are good memories, Taylor.”

  It took all of her discipline to keep from arching into the hand he’d moved to massage the knotted muscles at the back of her neck. It didn’t surprise her that Lucas remembered the exact spot that needed attention. She felt the scrape of calluses on his fingertips, shivered at the gentleness of his touch. God, how she’d once loved the feel of his hands on her skin. It had been the first time in her life when she’d felt a touch that went beyond what was required for the kind of attention that guaranteed financial payment.

  However, she wasn’t an abandoned girl looking for someone to care about her any longer. At least she wouldn’t admit to having any trace of that little girl inside her. She forced herself to meet his gaze.

  “Let me go, Lucas.”

  It took a moment, one long moment during which she became aware of just how well they still fit together. Finally, he stepped back and released her. Her breath, the one she hadn’t even realized she was holding, shivered out.

  “Memories, good or bad, won’t help me with Stephanie. And they could get in the way of defending your son.” Taylor shook her head. “I’m not so naïve as to believe your concern is just for my relationship with my daughter. What if I do agree to defend your son, Lucas? Tell me how am I supposed to have time for Stephanie if I’m preparing for a trial?”

  Her heart pounded as she waited for his reply. Much of it was left over from being held in his arms, feeling his hand on her skin. But the bulk of her nerves came from the way he looked at her, studied her. Lucas had always been able to see past her outward defenses to the emotions she kept hidden. And that, she admitted as her stomach muscles contracted with the same fierceness as the pace of her heart, was what worried her.

  Could he see her fears? The insecurities that privilege and success hadn’t erased? At times she wondered if they would ever be erased. Could he begin to guess the true reason behind her reluctance to go back with him? With Stephanie in tow. Could he see that a part of her wanted to go? A part of her that wanted, against all reason, to believe she could trust him again.

  “Where would you be today, Taylor, if you didn’t know how it felt to stand in a courtroom and not have someone defending you and your best interests? Isn’t that why you wanted to be an attorney?”

  “That’s not fair, Lucas. The situations are entirely different.”

  “I don’t give a good damn if it’s fair or not.” Lucas sank down onto the burgundy leather sofa. “I’m fighting for Micah’s life. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same for your daughter.”

  “That is exactly what I’m doing, what I’ve always done. Every choice I’ve made has been with Stephanie’s welfare in mind. I could lose her if we go to Prentiss and I spend too much time on the case.”

  “And I will lose Micah if you don’t.” He leaned back and closed his eyes, exhaustion weighing heavy on his shoulders. She knew, only too well, the kind of fear and worry he felt as a parent right now. Hadn’t she felt it tonight? For months now?

  “I don’t know where else to go, Taylor, or what else to do.” He opened his eyes and stared at her. “You’re my last, my only, chance. Please help me keep my son.”

  Afraid, so very afraid, of her legs giving out, she sat in an overstuffed chair to the right of the sofa. Lucas leaned forward, linking his hands between his knees.

  “It’s one case, Taylor. I promise you’ll have plenty of time to spend with Stephanie.”

  All those years ago, living in Prentiss had given her a balance that had previously been missing in her life. Without distractions of a busy law practice or any of the other assorted blips in their separate lives keeping mother and daughter apart, could she and Stephanie find their former rhythm again?

  Shouldn’t she fight as hard now for her daughter as she had when Stephanie was born?

  She needed time away from Lucas. Time in which to rationally weigh all the possibilities and consider the risks. Time without his presence adding to her turmoil by clouding the present with memories of the past.

  “I’ll give you my answer first thing in the morning.” She smiled grimly. “Well, in a few hours.”

  “I can’t wait a few hours.”

  She stood, her eyes steady as she watched him do the same. Her voice remained calm and firm. In this she felt confident. “Even if I said yes to taking the case right this minute there’s nothing we can do. We’ve both had an emotional night and I think it’s best if we try to get some sleep.” She walked toward the doorway. “If you’ll follow me, you’re welcome to use one of the guest rooms.”

  “No.”

  She stopped, hesitated long enough to marshal her composure, and then turned around. “I beg your pardon?”

  “I want your answer now.”

  “Lucas, I explained—”

  “I got that, but I want your answer now. I need it now. I’ll never be able to get what little rest I can hope for without knowing if you’ll help us.”

  She stared at him, recognizing the determined light in his gaze. And she knew. If she denied his request, he would continue to ask, plead, or challenge until she finally agreed to do as he asked. He would not use patience and understanding, as the old Lucas would have done. No, the man standing before her got what he wanted by going after it.

  She thought of what Lucas had said about fighting for his son’s life. Hadn’t she whispered promises earlier tonight by way of guaranteeing Stephanie’s safe return home? Looked like it was time to pay the piper for the granting of her prayers.

  “All right, Lucas. I’ll take the case, and we’ll come back to Prentiss with you.”

  Lucas stared at the closing door, listened for the soft pad of footsteps on the thick hallway runner. In his mind he could picture Taylor as clearly as if the door were made of glass rather than paneled oak.

  He couldn’t believe he’d actually convinced her to defend Micah. How ironic that when he needed her fire and speed the most she had been the one to suggest—no, demand—they needed to slowly and methodically work within the system rather than push through it. Now with his patience ripped into shreds every time he imagined Micah sitting in that jail cell, Taylor chose calm, rational thought over impulsive, emotional action.

  Lucas wasn’t sure he cared for this woman.

  Only once tonight had he seen the old spark of life tremble in her eyes. When he’d held her against him as he pleaded for her to return to Prentiss. Had she, as he had, recalled the wild abandon with which she had given herself to him? Or had she thought instead of how she’d left without a good-bye or an explanation?

  He turned around and began pacing, biting down on the unfamiliar oath that threatened to explode in the silence. Taylor might have agreed to defend Micah, but Lucas he
ld no illusions that she had the slightest intention of renewing any relationship between the two of them. More than simply time and a difference in lifestyle separated them. Besides, he wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize Micah’s case.

  He’d endured the gossip that had swelled as quickly as his ex-wife’s belly after their sudden wedding—along with the shame and regrets and loss buried in his heart. All had been obliterated by a burst of love the first time he’d held Micah. That love had never faltered—not when he learned the full extent of Peggy’s betrayal, nor during the measures he’d taken to keep custody of the boy he loved as his son.

  He’d never once, by word or action, given anyone reason to suspect Micah wasn’t of his blood every bit as much as of his heart.

  He couldn’t lose his son now.

  “Hoping your new sports car will impress the folks back home?”

  Taylor slammed shut the trunk of the navy-blue convertible and stared at her daughter. Stephanie hadn’t taken the news of the trip to Prentiss with grace or enthusiasm.

  All the doubts Taylor had wrestled with throughout the night came back in force to torment her. Was she out of her mind? What madness had made her agree to return to Prentiss with Lucas? And take Stephanie along?

  “Would you rather we take the car Stephen bought you?”

  As so often happened, the instant the question snaked out to lash at a memory Stephanie held of Stephen, Taylor wished she could take the words back. Though her daughter lifted her chin in defiance, her bottom lip quivered.

  “I’m sorry, Stephanie,” Taylor attempted. “Chalk it up to being tired.”

  “I don’t understand, Adams. If you’re going to be busy with a case, wouldn’t it just be simpler for me to stay here so I’m not in your way? I mean.” Stephanie shrugged a shoulder and glanced down at the ground. “We both know how involved you can get when you’re preparing for a trial.”

  Taylor skirted the car and stood in front of her daughter. A part of her yearned to reach out and snuggle Stephanie against her chest. That same part of her wanted the comfort for herself as much as she wanted to offer it. Another, larger, part was afraid of Stephanie rejecting her. And yet wasn’t the opportunity for the two of them to make peace one of the reasons they were going to Prentiss?

  “Do you remember last fall when I worked on the Anderson case?” Taylor asked.

  Stephanie tilted her head enough to look at her mother. “Sure, he was the teacher everyone accused of being drunk while he chaperoned a class trip. Only you proved the kids who were caught robbing that liquor store had dumped sleeping pills into his soft drink so he would pass out and they could skip out of the hotel room.”

  “And you were spending most of your time working on the junior float for the homecoming parade.”

  “I can’t believe I got so caught up in that meaningless stuff.”

  “You have no idea how lucky you were to be included in those kinds of events.” She ignored Stephanie’s look and shook away old slights. “Back to the point, we both managed to arrange our schedules and spend an afternoon shopping for your dress.”

  “And afterward,” Stephanie added without any trace of the sneer evident in her previous comment. “You took me to dinner at the Capitol Room. When Daddy said something about joining us, you told him no, that it was our special girl’s night out.” She shrugged away the memory. “Of course, a week later you had to work late and didn’t get home in time to see me before I left for the dance.”

  “Yes, I missed that. Just as sometimes the obligations of Stephen’s political career kept him from always being with you when you wanted him to be here.” She held up a hand to forestall a comment from Stephanie. “I’m not trying to evade or divert blame. I’m trying to explain that to be with you now is why I decided to take the leave of absence and go to Prentiss.”

  “Where you’ll be working a case.”

  “Yes, on this one case, but I also promise to make time for just the two of us.”

  Stephanie tilted her chin and met Taylor’s gaze. Suspicion had the curve of a dark eyebrow lifting, but she wanted to believe she also saw a glimmer of hope.

  “Look, Stephanie, I know I’ve made mistakes, and God knows there are things I wish I could go back and handle differently.” Taylor brushed a hand at her bangs. She rarely mentioned her upbringing. “Bouncing between foster homes didn’t give me any kind of role model to follow when it comes to being a mother. But I want you to know that everything I’ve done has been because—”

  At the slam of the back door, Stephanie stiffened. Her eyes and expression went carefully blank. Lucas walked out, carrying another carton of Taylor’s law books to the bed of his pickup.

  “So, what’s the story?” Stephanie asked. “Were you two lovers?”

  Taylor had known the question would come, if for no other reason than as an attempt to try and shock her. The tension and physical attraction were simply too strong between her and Lucas to go unnoticed. It might have surprised her to realize it survived all the years and distance, but she was too busy trying to side-step Stephanie’s question. And ignore those feelings.

  “We were friends in high school,” she answered. “And yes, we dated.” She hardly believed one night qualified them as lovers. Even if that single night bound them together for a lifetime. “After graduation, I left for the university. Lucas married someone else.”

  “Is that why you agreed to defend his son? For old times’ sake?”

  It was easier to agree with Stephanie’s pat reasoning than to dig any deeper for her own. Taylor nodded her head.

  “Is his son as good looking as he is?”

  She reached out and gripped her daughter’s arm. When Stephanie jerked, she held tight. “Stay away from his son.”

  “Why?”

  This was definitely one area where the honest truth was best left in the dark. A tremor skipped up her spine. The slide into legal mode would provoke the least speculation.

  “The boy, a man legally, has been accused of raping a girl. I’m not sure how safe it would be for you to be alone with him.”

  “Isn’t that all the more reason why you should let me stay here?”

  If she wasn’t so preoccupied with her own worries, Taylor would have felt a swell of pride at the validity in Stephanie’s argument. “I told you, I want us to have some time together.”

  “How can you agree to defend him if you have doubts about his innocence?”

  “That’s what I would like to know.”

  Taylor looked up to find Lucas had approached. She saw now what she had not allowed herself to notice at any other time this morning. His eyes bore the hollow look of worried sleeplessness while his cheeks had the chapped look of a recent shave with a disposable razor she knew had been stocked in the guest bathroom. The long, lean lines of his jaw were locked in silence.

  His shirt looked limp from an additional day of wear, but not overly wrinkled. She found herself wondering if he’d slept only in jeans or fully naked, then frowned away the thought. She had absolutely no business whatsoever thinking along those lines.

  “It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve defended a guilty client. As you said last night, Lucas, I know how it feels to stand in court and not have someone beside you, looking out for your rights. Until I’ve met and talked with your son, I’m well within my rights to caution my daughter.”

  “Oh, please,” Stephanie moaned and freed her arm. In an unconscious gesture, she imitated her mother by fingering a lock of her bangs. “We both know that’s a load of bullsh—”

  “Stephanie,” Taylor cut in. “Why don’t you go in and see if there’s anything we’ve forgotten? I’d like to get to Prentiss early enough to have time to speak with Lucas’s son before I deal with the bond hearing.”

  “My son’s name is Micah,” Lucas said once Stephanie stepped into the house. Placing a hand on her arm, he turned Taylor to face him. “I don’t like hearing you refer to him namelessly.”

  “I’m well a
ware of his name.”

  “Micah isn’t guilty of this rape,” Lucas pressed. “And Stephanie will be perfectly safe with him. I realize we’ve both changed, Taylor, but do you honestly think I would raise my son to have so little respect for a woman and her right to say no?” His fingers flexed tighter on her arm. “How many times did you tell me no and I backed off when all I wanted in this world was to bury myself deep inside of you?”

  A sudden gust of hot air lifted her bangs and heated her cheeks. Of course, at the time she’d known how aroused he’d been, but not once had Lucas ever pushed her for more than she’d been willing to give. Until the night when they finally made love—and then it had been she, not Lucas, who had pleaded, begged, demanded for the intimacy of becoming one.

  And they had. As her concerns for her daughter lingered in her mind and the hands in her pockets balled into fists, she remembered the magic of belonging to Lucas. Body, heart, and soul had all been given, freely, lovingly, willingly, to him that night.

  He had given to her as well.

  More than she could have imagined.

  More than he knew.

  “Yes, I’m sure you taught Micah to respect a girl’s wishes. Just as I’m sure you realize his every move will be under scrutiny. He’s not the only one.” She glanced down at the hand Lucas still had wrapped around her arm. “The fact that I’ll be returning to Prentiss at your request will also have everyone talking about us and our past as well. So, you probably shouldn’t touch me in any way that might arouse speculation about our current relationship.”

  “Arouse speculation?” Lucas asked and inched closer. “It’s not my speculation that’s aroused when I’m around you, Taylor. It seems that’s one thing between us that hasn’t changed. Of course, you’re right that we don’t want to do anything to jeopardize Micah’s case.” Lucas brought his other hand up to curve around the back of her neck. With the pad of his thumb under her chin he angled her face up to his. “Which is why we should get this out of the way.”